Girls and Ghosts (Benji)

[ALICE CRYSIS]

I SEE IT ALL LAID TO WASTE IN A VIEW FROM

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So the manwhore had finally come about justice for his ways. Where normal manwhores would receive this by impregnation or an STD (which Benjamin may very well be a carrier for anyways..), Benjamin Kanst, Valen leader and idol to nearly every imperfection describable by an Aranai save few, was to receive brutal mindfuck, followed by death at the hands of the one he in fact left for dead, initiating his spiral into douchebaggery.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! Fucking priceless!

Yet. Something compelled Alice to seek Benjamin out, in an earnest sense to see if he was okay. She couldn't be sure if he knew about Aurelia, or in the time she'd spent apart from them both, the situation had changed at all. Perhaps it was a situation she had no place being in, perhaps he did deserve what was coming to him, but damnit, she had to be a part of what happened, somehow. Stupid cute manwhore.

The club was truly packed tonight. A heavy baseline shook the very foundation of the club, which was just plain menacing to Alice's sense of touch and hearing. How the hell did the Valen's grow adjusted to such things? And why would they put their home right underneath such constant source of noise? She'd never understand them.

As she stepped further into the mass of flailing limbs, renewed vigor began to course through her unlike the previous times she'd entered the club. Stealth and subtlety just didn't matter to her right now - not that it'd matter. Shiver seemed to attract the weirdo's of the teenage world. Her long cloak and thick boots easily went unnoticed.

As always, Benjamin was not to be found on the dancefloor, but the bar. His back to the crowd, he say slumped facing the bartender, a friend standing by his side. It looked as though he was trying to talk to Benjamin, but for the life of Alice she couldn't hear what. He just didn't seem to amused at all.

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"You're alive Benjamin," Alice whispered into his free ear, in an intimate, teasing tone, and her hand placed firmly upon the opposing shoulder, "If I didn't know better I'd say something was bothering poor Benji-kins."
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[BENJAMIN KANST]

A FISTFUL OF LIES, DRESSED UP IN DISGUISE,
A N D . M A K E . N O . M I S T A K E

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- - - - - - - -I KNOW THEY'RE ALL SO FAKE.[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/center]

It was a miracle he was still alive. Ben was still reeling from the events two nights ago. He couldn't believe it. Aurelia was still alive. This entire time, she had been right there and he had no idea. Though the physical wounds were already healing, Ben was still tortured over the fact that Aurelia had been there the whole time. The second he had been able to get out of bed, Ben wanted to get away as far as possible from New York City. He couldn't be here while Aurelia was still out there. His overnight bag had been packed when Ben came to the realization that, he couldn't run away again. He couldn't run from what Aurelia had become. With no place to go and not even the remote desire to find a woman to spend the night with, Ben had spent the day scrubbing the floors of his own blood. He needed to erase any trace of Aurelia's presence from that flat. But after an entire day of that, Ben's nerves were shot to hell.

His coven was starting to get suspicious of his absence from Shiver, but Ben was afraid to make an appearance. He couldn't walk into another room without first checking to make sure he was alone, much less walk into a crowded nightclub. It was only after Ben finished cleaning the entire apartment did he realize that eventually, he would have to leave. Even standing in his bedroom was too overwhelming now. He needed to get out, even if it was for a few minutes. Without even thinking about it, Ben stumbled into the elevator and hit the close button repeatedly. His back hit the wall and his eyes closed as he sank into a curled position in the corner of the metal box. How could he have been so stupid? Again, he had let her get away. He still didn't know what to do. The second the doors opened, Ben pushed his way through and quickly navigated through the crowd. All he needed was something to get his mind off this.

Still, he wasn't so lucky. Not even the second he collapsed into a stool by the bar was he bombarded by another Valen. He didn't care for conversation at the moment. Despite the other Valen's friendly attempt at conversation, Ben merely glared at him. The bartender was already pretty familiar with Ben's drink choices when he was in a mood like this and as the guy continued speaking, Ben just knocked back shots. A few times, an emphatic hand gesture or two caused him to flinch and Ben was starting to get frustrated with the failure of communication. He was hardly paying attention when Alice walked up behind him and when the voice whispered in his ear, Ben nearly fell out of his seat in his hurry to get away. With a shot in hand, he pulled himself away from her hand and stood up, backing away from her. His glare gave away anything he needed to say. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Ben shot with an accusing tone. He glanced up and down at her, not trusting her for a second. He knew Aurelia was Aranai and now what, Alice was here to rub it in his face?

^{TAG - alice!
WORDS - 550
TUNES - sympathy, billy talent.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

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[ALICE CRYSIS]

I SEE IT ALL LAID TO WASTE IN A VIEW FROM

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Although she had entered the club with a playful, curious demeanor, it quickly dissolved at the sight of Bens' face. There was genuine terror plastered upon it. Concern like she'd never seen before in him. Generally speaking he was a pretty "whatever the fuck" kind of guy, which, despite her need to be otherwise, she admired all the same. But this was gone from him. For once, he legitimately afraid and being a real person. It was... Pathetic. Already the seeds of pity had been sown within Alice; planted in lust, only to grow with lots of manipulation. Alice didn't move an inch as Ben recoiled away from her, jittery and wired as if expecting a knife in the dark any moment now. Perhaps his genuine fear was enough to have Alice not want to push him further and respect his space. Respecting Benjamin Kanst. Hell must be getting mighty cold.

Only many seconds after his shoulder had left from under it hand did it fall back to her side. Her smile faded. Benjamin's gaze was met with one of pity and despair, as if trying to convey an apology she could never, ever risk giving openly. His partner had drawn out a small knife at this point, watching Alice very closely. He crept between the two of them, trying to shield his Coven leader.

[/font] "Oh fuck off, if I was here for his head I'd have it by now you idiot, leave us be!" The Valen recoiled back, shocked by the command that even Alice didn't know was in her at the time. After shooting an apologetic look back towards Ben, he disappeared into the depths of the building.

Her attention turned back to Benjamin, to whom she was still trying to sum up the proper words before trying to speak. With a solemn nod she gestured towards the seat he'd so expeditiously vacated, taking a seat herself on the one beside. Something about the whole situation depressed her entirely. She could only start blankly at the gleaming counter in silence (if you could call it that in the middle of the loudest place in New York), words still not coming properly to her mind. But she was going to push herself to speak to him, lest she look the fool for even showing up at all.

"You... I guess... How", Alice stumbled quietly, not even sure if he could hear her or not. She squeezed her eyes tight and tried to focus again. This time, she rounded towards Benjamin with a look of grief and pain. "HOW COULD YOU BE SO FUCKING STUPID KANST?! she hissed, her grief seemingly being a lesser feeling to her anger and confusion. Alice exhaled a lot of her rage, and kept going, "I'm so sorry for you Ben. I'm not with her, I came here of my own accord. To see if you were okay, and to warn you. Looks like you don't need my warnings."

There were so many things she was feeling at this point; anger, sadness, confusion, jealous, pain. She'd be lied to. Along with so many other women. None worse than Aurelia however. For that, he deserved to have something heated and sharp run through his testicles. But when she thought of Aurelia's blade piercing through Benjamin, a ferocity awoke in Alice to stand between the two of them.

Curse that fucking (cute) manwhore.

"I'll go if you want. You know what's coming, that's what I came here for," Alice lied, dropping her gaze down to the bar again. It was a very bad idea for Alice to linger anyways. If his scent caught onto Alice and Aurelia surprised her with a visit, well... Things would get more complicated than she'd like. This wasn't her mess. She wasn't going to clean it up.[/justify][/blockquote]

[BENJAMIN KANST]

A FISTFUL OF LIES, DRESSED UP IN DISGUISE,
A N D . M A K E . N O . M I S T A K E

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- - - - - - - -I KNOW THEY'RE ALL SO FAKE.[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/center]

For the first time in a while, Ben was genuinely terrified of other people. He had always been so good at hiding any emotion that wasn't positive that he wasn't sure how to deal with this sudden fear. His first encounter with Aurelia in nearly two-hundred years had already left him broken and scared. He wasn't expecting Alice to be here either. Ben should have been trying to sleep with her, not worry about whether or not she was here to kill him. Her playful attitude seemed to disappear when she saw him and he furrowed his eyebrows, trying to play off his initial paranoia. When he finally made eye contact with Alice, the look of pity that he received made his stomach twist. It made him sick to think that for a second, he deserved pity from anyone, especially Alice. Ben tore his gaze away to focus on the floor. She might as well have apologized instead of give him that look.

Only when Alice spoke up, did Ben realize the Valen next to him had pulled out a knife. It was almost cute how he seemed so eager to defend Ben. When Alice snapped at him, Ben merely shook his head at the Valen and assured him things would be all right. “I can take care of myself. Just leave us,” he added, before the other Valen scampered off. “There’s no need to snap at him,” Ben mused, not particularly interested. “Just doing his job.” He relaxed slightly and now, instead of seeming so paranoid, Ben just seemed tired. Slowly, he sat back down his chair and downed the shot he still held his hand. When the bartender offered to fill it again, Ben waved him off and glanced at Alice. “It’s on the house,” he offered out of courtesy. For a second, he was hoping they could sit in silence, but it seemed there would be no such luck for Ben tonight.

He visibly winced at Alice’s words and continued to stare at his hands. It hit him like a physical blow and Ben turned his head to the side, away from Alice. “I did’t know. I didn’t know she could still be alive. I....saw her grave,” his voice wavered and Ben’s grip on the glass tightened dangerously. He already knew all this; Ben didn’t need to justify himself to Alice, but truthfully, she was probably one of his only friends. Despite their conflicts, the two coven leaders were on relatively good terms. “I don’t know what to do,” he muttered, unsure if his voice could be heard over the loud bass in the background. It was always too noisy to think up here. When Alice offered to leave, Ben looked up at her with an almost surprised look. “No, don’t.”

Trying not to seem too eager, Ben cleared his throat and stood up. “Let’s go downstairs. It’s quieter, maybe we can hear each other.” For the first time, he was actually inviting someone downstairs for something that didn’t involve drinking or sex. Well, there was a first time for everything.

^{TAG - alice!
WORDS - 518
TUNES - sympathy, billy talent.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

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[ALICE CRYSIS]

I SEE IT ALL LAID TO WASTE IN A VIEW FROM

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Alice contemplated the thought of Ben's oh-so-generous offer of free drinks. Of course, her initial instincts kicked in, gently reminding her that this was how he tried to get into your pants every time. But, she knew that this was not the case this evening. Something would be deeply, deeply wrong within his mind if he was still going to pursue sins of the flesh so early after discovering Aurelia. All the same, the alcohol was tempting. She could feel her mind longing for a drink or two to put it out of its misery or tireless thought. But then, she'd get even more emotional than she already was. What barriers she had remaining would be torn down by it, and she'd be more than capable of kicking the shit out of Ben after that happened.

Maybe he deserved it though.

Musing, Alice waved off the server as she listened to Ben grapple with his own perception of Aurelia's death. She could be wrong, but it sounded much like he was trying a whole lot more to convince himself than Alice of his side of things. Rare is it was, Alice didn't have a whole lot to say back to it. What do you say in that position? What possible justification can there be in any alignment of words for someone who'd made a life altering mistake, and spent centuries rubbing salt in the wounds?

So silence took them for what seemed like an eternity. Which is even longer to a Vampire. Sound and and vibration coursed through Alice, complicating her ability to grapple with what to do next. Should she try to push the conversation forth? Leave? Remain and say nothing? None of it seemed to really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Relief coursed through Alice when Benjamin quickly expressed that he didn't wish Alice to leave. She peeled her eyes off the counter to shoot Benjamin a nod of appreciation, but found herself lingering upon his face a little longer than intended. He looked terrible. That was a feat for a Valen. It seemed like the longer she peered into his sullen reflection, the more apparent his pain and longing for a way out were. Her lip twitched, and quickly found itself bitten before it could manifest into a quiver.

She quickly took to his offer of a quieter environment. Though the quiet was something to be desired given the overpowering auditory rape in the building, she didn't quite trust herself being alone with him. Her eyes fell to his feet for a moment, running scenarios in her mind. Well. All the people around them were stopping Alice from beating his ass 'till it bled. Oh well. His mistake for drawing them into solitude if it happened. She met his eyes and nodded, and rose from her seat to follow.

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[BENJAMIN KANST]

A FISTFUL OF LIES, DRESSED UP IN DISGUISE,
A N D . M A K E . N O . M I S T A K E

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- - - - - - - -I KNOW THEY'RE ALL SO FAKE.[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/center]

For a moment, it seemed like Alice was going to reject his offer and Ben was thoroughly disappointed. He didn’t know why the Aranai’s presence was having such an impact on him, but if he were to be rejected tonight, especially by her, Ben didn’t think he’d be able to take it. She was already so quiet when he mentioned Aurelia, it seemed like they were both at a loss for words. He couldn’t help but feel guilty when he thought of his wife. Instead of trying to convince Alice to join him, Ben merely sat silently and waited for her to make her decision. When she stood, he let out a soft sigh of relief and stood, ready to lead her down below the club. Considering the circumstance though, Ben probably shouldn’t have been so eager to keep Alice around. Last time she had been around this club, he had ended up pinned to a wall with a sword rammed through his heart. It wasn’t exactly a fond memory. Still, he tried to suppress the shiver that ran down his spine when he thought about that. Making his way through the club, Ben navigated around the drunk humans and the preying vampires. He just wasn’t impressed with the lifestyle anymore. Once at the back, he opened the door, allowing Alice to go first before slipping in after her. He made his way down the stairs as the door closed, shutting them off from the outside world.

It was if they’d stepped into a completely different place. The atmosphere below the club was nothing like the chaotic, pulsing crowd upstairs. Classical music drifted over the light pounding from upstairs and the arrangements were much more tasteful. Still, it wouldn’t be Valen if there weren’t vampires indulging in the darker side of human life. Ben paused as they passed by the wine and he took the time to cautiously select a bottle. He grabbed two glasses before indicating to Alice that they weren’t going to stay in the main room. He didn’t her drawing attention to them. After all, most of the vampire down there were still sore from the last visit. Ignoring the strange looks they were getting, Ben led them through the room and opened one of the side doors. It led to a more private room, meant for activities that were best kept out of public, but Ben had no intentions of putting it to that use. Strange, yet understandable to think that Benjamin Kanst was leading a woman into a room to make pleasant conversation. It was almost laughable really. He shut the door behind them and sat the bottle on the table. Ben took a seat on the couch and handed Alice a glass. Again he grasped the bottle and Ben pulled out the cork. Taking his cup, he poured half a glass for himself and did the same for Alice. “So...how did you find out about her?”

^{TAG - alice!
WORDS - 493
TUNES - sympathy, billy talent.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[/justify]

[ALICE CRYSIS]

I SEE IT ALL LAID TO WASTE IN A VIEW FROM

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It always amazed Alice whenever she was pulled into the depths of Shiver. The seizure inspiring facade that was open to the public was nothing like it. Elegant music sounded all around, expensive foods and imported wines lay carelessly about. This was something Alice could get behind. Why weren't more Valens sophisticated and presentable like this? They certainly wouldn't be mocked as heavily if they did.

Benjamin paused to pour over a wine rack as if his life depended on it, giving time to Alice to look about at all the evil looks she was getting from the Valens. It took a moment for the memories to stir in her mind, of all the trouble she'd caused for the poor club and its inhabitants. It was any wonder at all that she was on good terms with Benjamin. She really wasn't all that kind to him at all. It made her wonder if he in fact liked her at all, instead feigning a friendship, if it could be called that, out of fear or some other emotion. Suddenly, she felt very, very cold.

A whole lot more depressed, Alice followed Benjamin without paying much attention, until she had snapped back into focus at the sound of the wine bottle uncorking.

[/font] “So...how did you find out about her?” Alice's eyes flashed from Bens to the wine, hesitating for a moment before grabbing it hastily. "Oddly enough, I sought her out - accidentally," she added quickly, figuring he would feel betrayed if Alice actually had sought her out of her own free will. She took a swig of her wine, and continued, "One day, wandering about the outskirts of the city, we came upon the scent of an Aranai. Not one we recognized. I set up some surveillance, tracked her down, then met with her to discuss why she was evading her own people within the city."

Memories flashes through her head of that evening. The power Aurelia possessed. The cunning. And the sexual tension! In fact, that was the only reason she wasn't sharing her own blood with Benjamin to show him exactly what he was up against - she had no idea how he would take those events would affect him. Of course, she didn't instigate them. Aurelia sort of... well not sort of, she did just mount her and aggressively pin her and whatnot. Still. Something about sharing that made her uncomfortable. "I don't know what you know of her, but she seemed like a very capable woman to me Ben. What are you going to do?" Truth be told Alice knew what he had to do. Run. But in her heart she knew he wasn't capable of such a thing. If he was he would have already. Simple as that. "I can't help you Ben. I can't protect you. I shouldn't even be here."[/blockquote][/justify][/color][/font]

[BENJAMIN KANST]

A FISTFUL OF LIES, DRESSED UP IN DISGUISE,
A N D . M A K E . N O . M I S T A K E

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- - - - - - - -I KNOW THEY'RE ALL SO FAKE.[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/center]

It was incredibly difficult to remain calm when he was anything but. As he choose a bottle of wine, his hand was shaking, but Ben did his best to cover it up. He’d already shown her a moment of weakness and that was enough for him. Ignoring the strange glances was a different thing. Ben didn’t have to explain himself to his coven, but he knew what this looked like. To them, Alice might as well have been holding a knife to his neck. His hold as coven leader was slowly slipping and Ben was well aware of this. Already he was hearing whispers of possibly being replaced. Not only did his ego take a blow, but he was starting to agree. Maybe it was time for him to step down and hand the club over to someone else. The only problem was...who? He didn’t trust anybody well enough to take care of things if he did decide to leave.

As he grabbed the bottle of wine, Ben glanced around, giving the others a reassuring look. This was just a civilized talk between two coven leaders, nothing more. The door closed behind him and almost immediately he could hear the muttering begin. With a soft sigh, Ben turned away from the door, opened the bottle of wine and waited for Alice to take the other glass. He studied his wine, swirling the red liquid lightly, as he listened to Alice talk. During the short pause, Ben sat down on the couch. A soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips and he glanced up at her. “She never did like the city much....” he trailed off and his smile faded. Up until that point, Ben hadn’t realized how personal this was and how difficult it would be to let Alice know that side of him. He didn’t want to let her that close. Clearing his throat, Ben brought the glass to his lips, taking a long sip. The wine wasn’t going to do. Ben was going to need something much stronger.

Already he was pouring himself another glass. Holding the bottle out, Ben raised an eyebrow, silently questioning if Alice wanted anymore. He didn’t even check to see if her glass was empty or not. I don’t know what you know of her. Ben winced at the statement, closing his eyes for a moment. This whole Aurelia situation was affecting him more than he wanted it to. But Alice was right, just how well did Ben know Aurelia anymore? Aurelia wasn’t the same person anymore. As much as Ben wanted to believe she was still the same woman, he couldn’t lie to himself any longer. “She’s my wife,” he managed after a long pause. “I can’t change that.” He sure as hell could run from it though and it would be a lie to say that Ben hadn’t thought about it. But where would there be to run? Sure, he could leave, but that wouldn’t stop his wife from trying to find him and it sure as hell wouldn’t stop him from knowing that she was still alive. "I left her once, I can’t leave her again.”

The sense of loyalty that he felt towards her was so wrong. She had just tried to kill him, but even that wasn’t enough to convince Ben that she didn’t love him anymore. He wouldn’t and couldn’t believe it. Not until she looked him in the eyes and told him. At Alice’s words, Ben gave her a curious glance, studying her for a second. “I’m not asking you to protect me,” he paused, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “Then why are you here?”

^{TAG - alice!
WORDS - 612
TUNES - sympathy, billy talent.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[/justify]

[ALICE CRYSIS]

I SEE IT ALL LAID TO WASTE IN A VIEW FROM

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Wine nearly shot from Alice's nose at a frightening velocity when Benjamin let slip that Aurelia was his wife. His wife? Wife? Well that was something he failed to mention to her during all of their sexual escapades. Alice wanted to say during their intimate talks but, it dawned on her there hadn't been too many of those at all. Nothing this deep anyways. Why did she feel an attachment to someone she admittedly barely knew at all?

Alice slowly chewed her lip in a bit of rage as something dawned on her. He had - has - a wife. And he lived the life he did... All without telling Alice anything. Alice opinion of him sank deeply for a moment.

[/font] "You have a wife..." she spoke slowly, in an accusing, almost threatening tone. But something about Benjamin's startled, scared face drew her attention elsewhere. "... But you didn't know. You didn't know she was alive. You knew her dead..." Alice reminded herself aloud, soothing her own rage a little bit. It wasn't the wife part that bothered her. Because let's face it, in his position she would have done the same. There was no fault in legitimately moving on. "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that. It's just..." Alice paused, not really sure why it was important when a very dangerous woman was out there, intent on wringing Benjamin dry, "I don't really know you at all, do I Ben? We've known each other far longer than most people, and yet... You've kept yourself no less than enigmatic to me...." Pain shot through Alice's eyes as the realization that she was nothing more than a wild fuck, random counsel, and a fun game for Benjamin. If she had meant anything to him, he would have made her mean something more. Alice sat her glass down on the desk, folded her legs and stared into Benjamin with a new found emotional detachment. Her face much more sullen and void of emotion than in moments previous.

"Just how do you figure you owe this woman anything, Benjamin?" she started up quickly, not wanting any sort of excuse from Benjamin as to why she'd been treated the way she was for so long. She shifted forwards and straightened her back, intent on going on the offensive this time. "Because of vows cast hundreds of years ago? A family long dead? The fuck kind of reason do you have to owe anything to her?" she spat, anger building in her words despite her attempts at settling it. "Just how the fuck is she anything to you? She's here tokill you, Kanst. Kill you. Not love you. Not start a family with you. Not even fuck you. She's here to kill you; to watch you bleed out slowly after hours of agonizing torture." Her face was shaking in disbelief now. She was on a roll and she would be damned if Ben didn't hear it all before she let him speak. "And you'll hold her on a pedestal and safeguard her from negative thought, simply because of occurrences from hundreds of years ago? Doesn't now matter at all?" Her tone had shifted from anger to sadness unexpectedly. She couldn't grasp why this woman was getting so many more allowances than she ever did, and Alice was the one to actually earn them. As sad as she was to think it, she was actually growing jealous now.

Alice rose to her feet and threw an accusing point at Benjamin. Emotional fury had reared its ugly head now, and Alice wasn't even bothered to try to hold it back. "I have no idea why I'm here Benjamin. I thought I was coming here as a friend, but I'm reconsidering that notion. I don't even know why you're still here. If you're not going to fight, you may as well run. Seems to be all you're good at." On that note, Alice turned on her heels and walked out of the room, intent on leaving Shiver the way she usually did. Dissatisfied.

[/blockquote][/justify][/color][/font]

[BENJAMIN KANST]

A FISTFUL OF LIES, DRESSED UP IN DISGUISE,
A N D . M A K E . N O . M I S T A K E

[/font]
- - - - - - - -I KNOW THEY'RE ALL SO FAKE.[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/center]

Judging by Alice's reaction, Ben would have to guess that Aurelia never mentioned anything about him being her husband. Well, it wasn't exactly the way he wanted Alice to find out, but it was out there now and he couldn't take that back. He had never been close enough to Alice, or anyone really, to tell them about his past life. The only time he had been close to Alice was when they fucked. It had been nothing more than that. He had never sought to have a relationship with Alice and he figured she didn't care about him enough to try. Their relationship had been nothing more than physical. When it wasn't physical, they were somewhat professional, but otherwise distant. It was for this reason that Ben didn't understand her reaction.

He could practically see the gears turning in her head. Now all the sex, drugs, alcohol couldn't possible make sense to her. That alone by itself made him one of the most hated men in New York City, but to know that he had a wife...well, Ben could only imagine how much more that would add on. At first, he almost believed that Alice could understand his situation. He was rather shocked when the only thing she could say, was how little she knew him. The pain he saw in her eyes made him realize that he had hurt Alice. By now, he could recognize a potentially dangerous situation and this was one of them. Alice wasn't the type to allow herself to be hurt, especially of Ben's accord. No, if things didn't get violent, then he would be surprised and lucky. "You're the closest thing I have to a friend Alice, but..." he sighed and shook his head. "We are in no way friends." It was harsh, but true. He wasn't the one she would call after a bad day and she wasn't the one he would call in the rare times where he wanted company not of the physical type. At the end of the day, they were nothing more than two coven leaders who tolerated each other. Ben stood and walked to the edge of the couch, purposely distancing himself from Alice. "I don't know you anymore than you know me."

Ben was well aware that if he dared to interrupt Alice, it would not end well for him. So he choose to keep his mouth shut as she went off on him. Was that even a hint of...jealousy he detected? If it hadn't been for the circumstances, he might have found that amusing. But now, he found no humor or pride in knowing that Alice felt this way. She had been right. They didn't know each other and yet, Benjamin felt like he had to explain himself. "What would it matter to you if she killed me? Both of us know that I would deserve it," he could feel the anger begin boiling at her accusations. "Do you want to know me, is that it Alice? I had three children with her. Three. I was outside with Roland when the soldiers first came. He was only eight. I couldn't protect them and now they're dead. They were the only ones I've ever loved. What are you suggesting I do now, kill her? Because I can't do that. She may hate me, but that doesn't stop me from loving her." Or at least, it didn't stop him from pretending that he still loved her. He wasn't really sure what to think anymore. It was the first time in nearly two hundred years that Ben had even mentioned his children. There were no more words when he realized what he had said. An unfamiliar type of pain pounded deep within his chest and he glanced at Alice for a brief second in confusion. He felt like...crying? Now that was absolutely ridiculous. Ben would be damned if he was going to let Alice see him like this.

When she spoke again, he did the only thing he could to cover up the sudden overwhelming emotions; he laughed. Her words hurt him more than he could show, but Ben just scoffed as she walked out of the room. He wasn't letting her leave like that. "I don't understand you Alice," Ben shouted as she exited through the door. He followed soon after, ignoring the looks. "One day you'll fuck me like a lover and the next, you want to humiliate me, crucify me to the wall. Yet, you're the first person to show any concern. So what is it that you want from me?"

^{TAG - alice!
WORDS - 769
TUNES - sympathy, billy talent.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

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[ALICE CRYSIS]

I SEE IT ALL LAID TO WASTE IN A VIEW FROM

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"We are not friends."

Those words echoed over and over in her mind. It was like a massive, verbal slap across the face, and no part of her understood why. Something hormonal had clearly kicked in. After all, deep down she really did know what he said to be true, even before he said it. Their relationship, if it could be called that, was a lot of things. But it was not a friendship. It was sexual. It was business. It was entertainment. It was venting. It was anger. But they were not friends. Every time it reverberated inside her own head, the Aranai couldn't help but cringe. Something about that being his defense in this situation simply got to her. Was that what he wanted? To just push her away at this point in his life? Did he feel his uses for her had come to a close, so she too was going to get the boot like so many other women? As much as Alice wished she could think she knew him better, this entire conversation was about the fact that she didn't. No part of her knew what to think about anything.

Shouts came from behind as Alice rounded to make her exit. As much as she wished to disengage, some part of Ben seemed to not want that, which only confused her more. Didn't he want her to leave? She tried very hard to keep her mind on where she was going, only to hear Ben beginning to follow behind her. He wasn't done with her.

[/font][/size]"I don't know..."[/size] Alice deflected, shaking her head as she picked up her pace. Too much had happened, too much to think about. All she could do was repeat those three words to everything the Valen shouted after her, all the while, a particular four still beat inside her head. Many people seemed to be attracted to the commotion (as if they weren't already on their toes from Alice being around anyways). None of them dared step in front of Alice, or come between her and the determined Ben. It was only when Alice reached the landing she recognized too well that she decided she couldn't keep running - Ben wasn't going to relent. Sound trickled down from stairs leading up to the Shiver dance floor. It was in this room that Alice had run her blade right through him and locked him into his own wall. Just what the fuck was their relationship?

Alice swiftly rounded on her heels, locking eyes with Benjamin once more. Out of the corner of her eye, she could make out the inquisitive faces of dozens of Valens, trying to discretely gather just what was going on. "I don't know what I want Benjamin. But I can tell you what I don't want, and that's you to die," she began, trying her best to keep her face as neutral as possible. Somehow, she felt she wasn't doing a very good job. "I don't know what the fuck I am to you. And now I don't even know what you are to me. Yes, I would like to know you better. Yes, I even wouldn't mind you getting to know me." Alice paused, realizing she was getting a bit off the point, and did not want to give him any more to work with than he already had. At this point, she just wanted to end this discussion. Her fists had begun to curl into balls. "I've known you for so long Ben. Longer than anyone else, I can safely say. And we're not even friends." The words stung a thousand times more coming from her own lips. "I don't want something I've come to assume will always be around, to suddenly vanish on me. I don't want to lose something I've grown so comfortable with, even if it doesn't give a fuck about me." His words were still pounding in her head. The more she tried to not think about it, the louder it seemed to get. The door wasn't far off, and Alice was only upsetting herself more now. "I guess now that I realize I'm about to lose this comfort, I wish I'd gotten more from it. I wish we were friends Ben, because then I'd have a reason to step in and help you."

Alice stood, frozen. Every inch of her screamed to move towards the door, but she couldn't. Caught like a deer in the headlights, she stared at Ben very weakly. She had just stopped herself from continuing on to use the world "love". There's absolutely no way that made sense. It had to be the emotional train wreck that was her mind speaking. Besides.. He had a wife. And for some reason far beyond her ability to see, he still felt attached to her. It felt like ages ago that she was laughing about Ben getting what he deserved from Aurelia, it felt like it was someone else entirely who found it entertaining. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism of some stupid shit like that. Either way, it was clearly not more than a lie, as it was apparent how she really felt about him and the situation. "I don't know what I want, what I think, I don't know Ben. But it doesn't matter, does it? What I want out of this situation? You've already got everything made up in your mind." Despite her fuming appearance, which she had accepted had to look something like a bomb ready to explode, Alice wanted nothing short of a hug.[/blockquote][/justify][/color][/font][/size]