BENJAMIN KANST
VALEN
COVEN LEADER
if you're looking for jesus, get on your knees
Posts: 23
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Post by BENJAMIN KANST on Feb 21, 2011 2:46:45 GMT -6
 never understood how she could mean so little to so manyWHY DOES SHE MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME?
If anything, pain was the first thing he was aware of. It was as if something had grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him out of a dark ocean. One second he was sleeping and the next, he was lying on his bed, biting his tongue to stop himself from screaming. Slowly, he opened his eyes and despite the overhead light being rather dull, Ben felt blinded by the sudden intrusion of light. Everything fiber of his being was screaming at him in agony. The blood on his body had already dried, as well as the blood on the sheets. His muscles protested his initial movements and for a couple minutes, he could only lie there as memories of last night returned. She was really back. All this time, she had been alive. Despite the throbbing headache and overall soreness, Ben forced himself off the bed. He couldn’t think about these things now. Right now, he needed to focus on healing his body before he could do anything else. In a daze, he painstakingly made his way to the bathroom, dropped the plug and turned the hot water on. Ignoring his pain as best as he could, Ben continued stumbling to the kitchen.
The back of his throat was dry, and the craving for blood was crippling. Trying his best to keep his motions limited, Ben grabbed a pack of blood and a bottle of wine before walking back to the bedroom. His flat looked like a tornado had just swept through, but Ben payed no attention and walked past the broken glass. He turned on the stereo, closing his eyes for a brief moment as the soothing classical music played over the speakers. There was no one; he was alone. Shuffling back into the bathroom, Ben set the bottle and pack down by the bathtub, making sure to turn the water off as well. He shut the door, flicked the lights off and stepped out of the bloodied pajama pants. In the dark, he found his way to the bathtub and slid into the warm water. As the water came in contact with his wounds, a hoarse scream tore from his throat, but it was lost in the silence of his apartment. He was too tired to attempt to stave off the pain though and eventually the scream faded into quiet whimpers, then into soft sobs. She was really back. After all this time, she had been alive, and all he had to do was look a little harder.
He didn’t know how long he laid in that bathtub, wallowing in his self-pity, but it was long enough to finish both the pack of blood and bottle of wine. The entire time, all he could think about was her. No matter how much he drank, the taste of her lips still lingered. After centuries of sleeping around, he was confused by the sudden feeling of...love. It hurt to think about her. His own thoughts seemed to be amplified by the dark silence of the bathroom. Ben lay with his body half submerged in the water, the wine bottle clutched tightly in his fingers. The water had gone cold by now and he still hadn’t made any motion to wash the blood off his body. With a soft sigh, he let the bottle fall from his fingers and clatter to the floor. Slowly, he allowed himself to slide under the water until he rested at the bottom of the tub. His eyes closed as his body healed, he managed to get some rest. Though his physical wounds were healing, Ben couldn’t escape Aurelia. It was only one kiss, but he wanted her. He wanted more, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had her.
His second awakening was somewhat more pleasant than the last. This time around, Ben felt energized again. Any trace of Aurelia’s torture had been healed and he felt much better. It was amazing what a few hours in complete darkness could do. He emerged from the water and pulled plug, allowing the pinkish water to drain out. A quick shower removed any lingering traces of dried blood and other than a few sore spots, his body showed no signs of abuse. The only evidence anything had ever happened showed in the two thin lines of new skin that interrupted the colorful ink on his right shoulder. That could easily be fixed, and Ben wasn’t particularly worried. There were far more pressing matters at hand; he had to find Aurelia. In a city like this, finding one vampire, who probably wouldn’t want to be found, proved to be a much more daunting task than Ben anticipated. He called in every favor he could possibly imagine. There were even a few phone calls to contacts in the police department that he wasn’t aware he had. Anyone and everyone who had possibly heard from Aurelia was hunted down by Ben. He was determined to find her.
Nearly a week passed before there was even news on her. He nearly lost it in that week. His every thought was consumed by her. It was impossible for him to wander down the streets without catching a glimpse of someone who looked like her, or imagining her scent lingering around every corner. He was going insane with the thought of her, the desperate want. Every time he closed his eyes, he could taste her lips, feel her body pressed against his. Ben didn’t care about her past, all he knew was that she was his wife and he needed her comfort. When he finally took a break from his relentless hunting to fix up the tattoos, Ben finally got the news he was waiting for. His thoughts were clearly on things other than the artist carefully redrawing the lines on his shoulder. They had set up a makeshift shop in the Valen headquarters below Shiver when the bartender from upstairs. He was so preoccupied that Ben didn’t even notice the woman standing there. When she cleared her throat, he opened his eyes to glance at her. “Yes?”
“There’s a...Mr. Johnston here to see you,” she managed in a weak voice, before turning to wave over the man standing by the stairs. Human. Just as awkwardly as the bartender had approached him, the man shuffled over, refusing to make eye contact. “And who the hell is he?” Ben muttered, clearly not in the mood to talk business. “I heard you’re looking for someone.” Now that got Ben’s attention. He waited a few seconds until the tattoo artist finished before standing up and pulling a shirt on over his head. “That depends on if you have information on what you’re looking for,” Ben stated, rather skeptical. Of all the things, how could a human find a vampire when so many others had failed? “I’m a real estate agent....and I think I sold....land to her,” the man began in a shaky voice. Ben’s eyes lit up with the prospect of possibly having found her. He didn’t have time to deal with this human. “Then give me a fucking location and get the hell out of here.” And for the first time, the man brought his gaze up to meet with Ben’s. “I...heard there may be a reward.”
An hour later, Ben was situated behind the wheel of the car with the GPS spouting directions at him. He flipped the visor down for a brief second and flicked open the mirror to examine his face. Humans, so messy. He licked the trace of blood away from the corner of his lips and shoved the visor back up. The calm robotic voice of the GPS informed him that he was twenty minutes from his destination and with a sickeningly calm smile, Ben pressed his foot down on the accelerator. With a slight protesting roar, the engine responded and the black car easily shot through the streets, out towards the city limits. If he had a heartbeat, it would be pounding furiously at this point. With his enthusiastic driving, the twenty minute drive was cut down to a mere ten minutes. Even before he reached his destination, Ben was sure this was Aurelia. It had to be.
The landscape had a familiar feeling; it felt like home. Out here, so far from the city, there was a nostalgic aura around the place. His car ground to a halt in front of the house just as the sky was beginning to reflect the change between night and day. After all this time thinking about Aurelia, there were strangely no thoughts as Ben stepped out of the car. His body seemed to have a will of it’s own, it knew what it wanted. He swallowed audibly as he approached the door. Her scent was overwhelming and he could practically taste her from this distance. This had to be it. His jaw clenched and Ben raised a hand to the doorbell. Wait, now that he was here, what was he supposed to do? Ring the doorbell and act like everything was okay? She had just tried to kill him and....yet, it didn’t matter. He had to do this. His hand faltered for a second, but he closed his eyes and forced himself to push the doorbell.
A minute.
Two.
Three.
No, maybe it was still two. Or one.
Nothing.
Maybe it wasn’t too late to run. He could always run.
Movement. He heard movement.
Say something Benjamin, anything.
[/color] His hand pressed against the door and Ben rested his head against it. He could feel her on the other side of the door. He knew she had to be there. “Please open the door. Please.” She was the only one he would ever beg for. She was the only one he ever needed to be happy, to feel anything again. “Aurelia....I need you.....please.” tag: aurelia word count: 1831 notes: homg D: music: pins & needles - billy talent[/blockquote][/justify][/size] |
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Post by AURELIA KANST on Feb 22, 2011 17:50:43 GMT -6
 as long as i can touch your face,[/font] YOU KNOW I'LL NEVER LEAVE THIS PLACE.[/center] She had failed. This was the biggest mistake she had ever made since her rebirth. To think that not being able to kill Benjamin almost made her want to break down for more than just the fact that he was still her husband. She had promised herself, promised their three children, that he would pay for being apart of the coven that ended all of their lives. It was absolutely disgusting, knowing he was apart of that organization, knowing that he was on the side that had slaughtered and taken everything away from her. That was supposed to be her motivation, that and the fact that she would've never turned into something like this had none of this happened. She knew it was unfair to blame everything on Ben, because he couldn't have helped all of it, but she had to blame someone. Considering he was the closet thing she had to a culprit, all her rage and frustration about the deaths of their children were, and had, been taken out on him. Was it appropriate? Not entirely. Had it made her feel better? Again, not entirely. But did she have any other choice? She knew he was alive, that he was still breathing. That made the fire deep inside the pit of her stomach swell with growth, rise in temperature, the need to put it out greater than anything she'd ever felt.
But could she really kill her husband? She had been asking herself that question the entire time she had left Ben's night club. If she were capable of handling the task she was dead set on completing. Actually, the question had never left her mind since the last time her fist had collided with his face. Aurelia had never regretted something this much in her life, and the confusion that had set in didn't help any of it at all. She had made it back to her estate in a mess, nearly wiping out countless times because her vision had blurred too much, or her hands had been too shaky to properly hold the steering for the street bike. By the time she had entered the garage, she knew she wouldn't be able to make it inside the house and had just given up right there. After she had cut the engine and kicked the stand down, she collapsed over the handlebars of her Kawasaki Ninja and let most of it out. She had immediately burst into tears, deep sobs that shook her entire being, sometimes threatening to tip the bike over completely. The fact that she could smell his blood, his scent, on herself better in as small of an enclosed space as she was in just made it worse, and before long, there was a headache sprouting out of no where.
Jarvis, one of the few people that had been able to shrug Aurel's coldhearted tendencies away and still remain faithful to her as a butler, eventually came out to see how she was doing. He had been aware that she had arrived hours upon him actually entering the garage from the door that lead to the kitchen, but he hadn't wanted to intrude. At first she was defiant, refusing to leave her crippled position on her mode of transportation, but the human eventually wore her down with promises that sleep would do her some good, physically and emotionally. Jarvis helped guide her up the stairs to her bedroom, during which time Aurel couldn't help but feel helpless, needing a human to help pick up her scattered pieces. Although, in his defense, he had been the most loyal man she had ever had the pleasure to have working for her, and he took excellent care of her. That was part of the reason as to why she hadn't lashed out and pulled his jugular out yet; he was good for her, did his best to keep her in check, and he never questioned or uttered a complaint about anything. She didn't even think he was capable of thinking anything negative towards her.
He had insisted on making sure she was bedridden for the next could days, bringing her her necessities along with anything else she requested; alcohol, blood... alcohol. It hadn't taken long for Aurel to get fed up with just laying in bed, waiting for something to happen, waiting for Jarvis to finally give her the 'okay' to start moving on her own free will again. As a vampire, and the Lady of the estate, it wasn't his choice as to what she did. With that in her mind, she decided on the third day that waiting around definitely wasn't helping her at all, and she got dressed in her gym gear. Aurel took her frustrations out on multiple dummies until their custom made protection wasn't even enough to prevent her from breaking them. She was so wound up from the events that had happened that she could barely hold any restraint whatsoever. Not that she truly cared- she was loaded with money, replacing the dummies wasn't even a small dent in her account. After the third one had been destroyed, Jarvis had started calling in favors to get more modified dummies that were stronger, just so he wouldn't have to keep replacing her frustration victims.
The day Ben had heard word of Aurelia's whereabouts, she had gotten up that morning and did her same routine. Feed, shower, practice. Her practicing could never be put on a time limit, especially not now. There were times during the week where she hadn't left the room to do much other than to take care of her body's needs. There had been little else to do, considering she wasn't accepting any other targets to kill until she got over this slump and finally slaughtered her husband. She needed to recover what little piece of her had been brought back upon seeing him. Somehow, she had to find a way to stuff it back long enough to drive something through his heart, to make sure that it would never pump with adrenaline, or fear, or happiness ever again. The idea of letting him live had been something she had started to toy with, bringing up the big question 'who would he be if I let him live?' She found no answers, having no idea where to start even looking. Benjamin wasn't who he used to be. If she kept him alive, would he want to be with her, like how he used to be? Would he actually commit, give her the love she had needed since the day she had thought he was dead?
Questions upon questions were piling up, and Aurel had no idea where to start for an answer. She had been minutes away from crawling into her bath to relax until the water was too cold to put up with, and even then, she'd more than likely pull the plug just to refill it with hot water once more. The uninvited guest had disturbed that, however. Naturally, Aurelia had her entire property rigged with sensors and cameras, recorders, anything that meant she could see and hear invaders. It was a precaution she had lived with since the day their family had been taken over and slaughtered. Benjamin had tripped the perimeter before he had arrived at the front entrance, and Aurel had been notified immediately. Not that she needed to be; there were televisions in every room of importance to her with a live feed of the cameras angled at the estate. Instead of getting to finish undressing, Aurelia grabbed one of her robes from the bathroom wall and slipped it on. The see-through mesh did nothing to cover her undergarment-clad body, but that didn't matter. It wasn't like he hadn't seen it all before, anyway. He hadn't come to kill her, or even hurt her, she imagined, considering he didn't look armed, and his lack of struggle at his flat proved to her that he couldn't stand the idea of hurting her physically.
The fact that Benjamin could find her home location faster than her coven leader was a little more than unnerving, however. She couldn't get that to roll off her shoulders as she padded down the steps into the main foyer, her right hand trailing along the banister until the very last step. With her eyes boring into the door, almost like she could see Benjamin through the solid object, she hesitated for a moment. He rang the doorbell not too long after, and she started to feel her blood picking up in speed. Slowly, she regained a little bit of her posture and started towards the door again, her eyes unable to look away from the door. Aurelia's natural instinct to be cautious was breathing down her throat, and as she pressed herself against the wall beside the door a bit more, she brushed an ornament from Japan, sending some of the chimes to clash together. Cursing at herself under her breath, she sighed and realized how ridiculous this was; trying to hide from her husband when there was a full wall between them.
Jarvis was standing behind her as she turned to face the door, hand hovering over the manual lock, ready to pull it open. When she realized he was still standing there, like he was going to be her protector, she glanced at him over her shoulder with a slightly cold glance. He took the hint without getting offended and nodded his head with respect, leaving her entirely to deal with other tasks. She wouldn't hear from him again until she summoned him. When her eyes came to rest back on the peep hole within her door, she heard his words, literally almost feeling the rumble of his voice through the door. It took hold of her heart and squeezed it entirely to hear him beg like that. She had never expected something like that to slip out of his mouth. Not in a million years, especially after what she had done to him. When he said he needed her, she couldn't take it anymore. She had too many emotions to be dealing with these extra ones he was spinning out of control, and Aurel needed to put a cork in his mouth before he crumbled ever last bit of a defense she had.
"Why the fuck are you here?" Was all she blurted as she whipped the lock open and yanked the door open, holding it with her left hand, leaning her shoulder against it slightly. Her eyes looked at him harshly, refusing to show him the emotions she was really feeling underneath that mask. "I tried to kill you, Benjamin. I almost did. Yet here you are, sobbing on my doorstep, regardless of what your instinct's telling you I'm sure." Her eyebrows pulled together, trying to build up enough to say four words that were nothing but lies. Her left hand tightened against the door handle, thankful that it was on the opposite side, otherwise Ben would've been able to see her frustration in trying to spit these words off her tongue. "I don't love you," they were almost whispered because of how horse her throat suddenly felt. "I don't love you anymore, so why are you here?"
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tag . benjamin
words . 1,992
outfit . hurr
notes . n'aw D: |
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BENJAMIN KANST
VALEN
COVEN LEADER
if you're looking for jesus, get on your knees
Posts: 23
|
Post by BENJAMIN KANST on Feb 28, 2011 2:54:01 GMT -6
never understood how she could mean so little to so manyWHY DOES SHE MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME? Now that he was standing at the door, Ben was starting to realize just how little he had thought this through. When it came to Aurelia, any rational thought was completely lost. A single kiss was quite literally about to drive him crazy. He couldn’t close his eyes without imagining those nights he spent with her. It was killing him to know the one person he had ever loved was so close and yet, she was the one thing he couldn’t have. He hardly deserved her, but he couldn’t give her up either. The seconds continued ticking by and Ben was beginning to think she wasn’t going to answer the door. Why would she? Ben hadn’t given her any reason to. If anything, the only reason she would open the door would be to drive a stake through her heart. That’s what this was about, wasn’t it? Aurelia wanted to kill him, as if that would bring some type of justice for the murder of their children. He hadn’t been the one to kill him, and yet, Ben was the guilty one. Still, he would have stood on that doorstep, begging her for however long it took her to open that door.
There had been so many sleepless nights that he spent laying on his bed, playing that day over and over again in his mind. If only he had done this differently or that, then maybe things would have turned out better. Maybe he wouldn’t be the person he was today. He could have sworn he’d watched her die. There was so much blood, it just wasn’t possible for her to still be alive. In every scenario that had ever played in his head, Ben had watched helplessly as she took her last breath. Everything he believed for the last two hundred years had been a lie and he had never felt so disgusted with himself. This wasn’t what he wanted. All his promises to her had been destroyed, broken. He could only imagine what Aurelia saw him as: a liar, a cheater...scum. Ben could apologize as many times as he wanted and he knew he would never be able to make this up for her. Even if she did take him back, he would live forever knowing all the wrongs he had done to her. And that, Ben didn’t think he could live with.
The sound of movement tore Ben from his thoughts for a second. It wasn’t her though. The steps were too heavy to be female. Male....human? Ben’s eyes furrowed in confusion. He hadn’t even stop to think, maybe Aurelia had moved on. Surely it wasn’t with a human, right? Then again, how was he supposed to know? She did have every right to find a better lover. Their marriage was nothing but an unspoken bond between them now. It was giving a whole different meaning to “till death do you part.” Whoever wrote those vows hadn’t been too clear on what happened to the technical dead. Details. The hand that rested on the door seemed to curl up, trying to grab at the door. He needed something to support him or he was in danger of collapsing to his knees and full-out begging. No, he wasn’t that desperate. Yet. How long had he been standing out there? The longer he had to wait, the more insane Ben was feeling. Each second that ticked by was only fueling his desire to touch her, feel her. He had never wanted anything more in his life.
Just as he was going to speak again, the door opened. It seemed unreal to see Aurelia standing there. His jaw dropped slightly at the sight of her scantily clad body and he could only gape, unable to form any words. She was actually....there. It was as if every memory he’d ever had of Aurelia came flooding back. Their human life together, their children, their fight, the good times, the bad times, everything. Ben was so overwhelmed, he could only stand there. It didn’t matter that Aurelia was upset by his appearance on her porch. He was so overcome by emotion, that he merely smiled in return. All those times that he had imagined he could be with her, and here she was. In awe of the woman in front of him, Ben’s hand dropped from the door and he took a step back. “...hi,” he managed in a weak voice. It was absolutely pathetic, but at that moment he was willing to give anything for her. Even as she continued shouting at him, Ben just watched her with a calm expression. “You’re wrong. I don’t know what it is, every instinct is screaming at me to be here.”
It didn’t even matter that she was angry or upset. What mattered was that she still had emotion, which meant she had to feel something for him. “Why didn’t you kill me?” She had the chance to, so why didn’t she? Ben just wanted her to see that if there was anything in her that still loved him, it wasn’t too late. He had expected her to be angry. Hell, he had even expected her to try and throw a punch. But what Ben hadn’t seen coming were those four little words. The second they slipped out, Ben was visibly crushed. Any color drained from his face and he just stared at her with a blank expression. His grey eyes searched hers for any conviction and he tore his gaze away when he could no longer look at her. Four words and his entire world had come crumbling done around him. It was as if any hope he had for the two of them had suddenly been torn out and crushed. Ben was left standing there with an empty hole, slowly being filled with despair.
He just couldn’t believe. In fact, he refused to believe it. She had to love him. It didn’t make sense for...it just wasn’t true. Ben spent all this time searching for her and he hadn’t come all this way for her to tell him that she didn’t love him. No. She could have said anything else, but not that. He couldn’t take that. He would have stood there if she had said she hated him, wanted to kill him, but not love him? Shocked, he stared at the ground, trying to wrap his mind around it. Ben had prepared himself for everything but that. “I...but....I...” Where was he even suppose to begin? He was almost ready to just get back in his car and drive away. But, Ben didn’t understand. He couldn’t leave like that. With an almost pathetic whimper, he looked up at Aurelia, trying to find some conviction in her eyes. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me. If it’s true, then I’ll leave,” his voice begin to rise, a new edge of desperation showing. “Look me in the eyes! You can’t tell me you don’t love and expect me to just....I can’t live knowing you’re still alive!”
tag: aurelia
word count: 1184
notes: looove hiiiiim
music: pins & needles - billy talent
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Post by AURELIA KANST on Feb 28, 2011 14:08:32 GMT -6
as long as i can touch your face, [/font] YOU KNOW I'LL NEVER LEAVE THIS PLACE.[/center] He almost looked delusional, standing before her the way he was. Like he hadn't expected to see her at all after that night. It hurt a little, like a dagger stabbing into her chest and popping the bubble of pain that had been building, waiting to explode. It was a task all in itself to keep her own emotions in check, but she couldn't help but feel the want to figure out his own. The more she tried to search for his emotions, the more she told herself that he was, in fact, delusional. Probably got it in his head that she might accept some sort of apology, or consolation prize, and they could be happily together forever. Like one of those stupid vampire fantasies humans insisted on dreaming of. When she was human, the idea of living by Ben's side for the rest of her life had been something she couldn't stop thinking about, or admiring. The fact that she loved him so much that she could want to put up with him for eternity was something she couldn't recignize anymore, but it made the situation he had just carried to her door a lot harder to deal with.
Now, Aurelia didn't know what she was going to do. Living with him would be impossible with the images of their three children spitting back at her every time she looked into his eyes. But living without him wasn't something she wanted to go through again, not after discovering he was alive. It would hurt too much, to be that much closer to the humanity she used to have, to push away the only reminder she had that somewhere, underneath all that self-taught hate, she was still able to feel something beyond negativity. The more she looked at him, those sad but hopeful eyes looking right back, the more Aurel started to inwardly struggle. Against everything. Her killing, his cheating, her jealousy and unfair punishments to things that probably shouldn't eat her from the inside as much as they do. But could you blame her? She was a gentle person, once upon a time. Never wronged anyone unfairly, always spoke her mind and kept her opinion strong. Her family was tortured and ripped apart, and none of them had deserved it. If she had died that day, died like she sometimes wishes she had, none of this would even be happening. Ben wouldn't be standing in front of her, she wouldn't have slaughtered as many people as she has; things would've been a lot smoother. For him.
"I..." Aurel's hand tightened once more on the door handle, and she heard a small break from the metal protesting. What was she supposed to answer with to a question like that? It didn't help that Aurelia didn't even have much of an answer herself; she still didn't truly understand why she hadn't killed Benjamin when she had had the chance. He was just a few more pushes of pressure away from being decapitated. Staking his heart after she had gotten back to her estate would've been easy, as well. But she hadn't. "I... just coul- didn't." She couldn't even look him in the eye when she had muttered that, not even aware if her voice had carried enough for him to hear. It didn't matter if he knew or not, yet she still felt the need to hide the fact that she couldn't kill him that night in his flat, because she hadn't been able to find it in herself. She'd feel too bare, more exposed to him than how she felt in what she was currently wearing. "Why the fuck do you even care? You're breathing. Shouldn't you want to keep it that way?" Resorting back to the bitter being she had been pushed into was usually a defense that worked. Unfortunately, she doubted it'd maintain long against her husband.
The immediate change in his posture, his voice, everything was showing signs that she had literally just crushed his very reason for finding her place. For showing up at all. He wanted to know that she still loved him, that there was still love for him in her heart, her body... her soul. Even after everything, he still wanted to know that she loved him. Only someone who was in love would put themselves through that kind of torture. Only someone who was willing to do everything in their power to prove to their loved one that they were special would put themselves through that kind of torture. He showed up without any weapons, as far as Aurel had been able to see, without anyone else for backup. Benjamin was sticking his neck out, and it was all to know that he was still dear to her. His small break down only confirmed her thoughts, and Aurelia's mind was quickly starting to race. Despite her inward hysteria, the anger of knowing what he did was starting to seep out through her frustration. The door handle snapped off entirely with a loud clunk, and Aurel let it drop to the rug below, hardly phased. "Benedykt..." Aurel reached forward, taking his left hand with her right, pulling him into the estate with her. She nudged the door closed, despite the missing back handle, her eyes narrowly staring up into his.
"Did you still love me, while you were fucking them?" Her hands shifted, slamming him back into the door she had just partially closed, causing the wood to hit the frame with a loud bang. "When you were kissing their necks..." her lips mimicked some of the motions she could remember witnessing from one of the mirrors in the room him and some blond had been screwing in. Though, her lips were a lot rougher than she remembered Ben's being against the human's neck, her fangs grazing over his neck between the kisses. "Or removing their clothes?" Once again, she replayed what she muttered against his earlobe with actions, her fingers pushing underneath the hem of his shirt, lifting it up his torso until it was completely gone. Her hands roamed over his bare skin, lips pushing up his neck once more to his ear. Taking a soft nip, she gave it a supple tug, moving her left hand up into his hairline to grip softly. "If you still loved me, you wouldn't have lied to the ones who asked if you were in a relationship before getting them drunk and fucking them like little sluts," Aurel's hand gripped in his hair a bit more, pulling his head more to an angle. "So don't you dare stand in my doorway and tell me that you can't live without me."
Giving off a huff of emotion, she let him go and pushed back a few steps, nearly catching herself off balance- something she never did anymore. Her hand moved to grip the banister of the modernized stairwell leading to the second level of the estate and she pulled her robe a little more against her chest. "You've been pissing away your immortality like an irresponsible dickhead. You've slept with more girls than I remember us even knowing when we were human. For fuck sakes, Ben... you try and cover everything up with a smile and a bottle of wine. You've hidden everything so deep that I don't even know who you are, even after spending months and months on getting information, of learning your habits." It had all come out in a rushed blurb, and Aurel wasn't pleased with herself for losing that kind of control. She hadn't even filtered anything in her mind before saying it, something she didn't want to get used to. Especially not around him. "I don't owe you anything. Therefore information on the man I love is none of your business." Rounding the banister, she started up the stairs, her head down. Her hand still gripped the railing as she did, sliding up beside her. It tightened after the third step, however, stopping to look at him over her shoulder. "I'll give you a ten minute start. But after that, I'm ending this pain. This bullshit. This misery. Be smart, for the both of us, and get the fuck out." Silently, she resumed in walking, taking the next step like she hadn't just given him a warning for his life.
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tag . benjamin
words . 1,437
outfit . hurr
notes . they're gunna bang so hard. |
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BENJAMIN KANST
VALEN
COVEN LEADER
if you're looking for jesus, get on your knees
Posts: 23
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Post by BENJAMIN KANST on Mar 6, 2011 16:07:51 GMT -6
never understood how she could mean so little to so manyWHY DOES SHE MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME? Maybe he was crazy for thinking this would all turn out okay, but a part of him had to believe that there was a chance this could work. Ever since he had found out she was alive, Ben just hadn’t been able to enjoy the small things. Women just didn’t compare, alcohol didn’t have the same effect, he just couldn’t get rid of the image of Aurelia. This was his chance to capture that small part of his humanity that remained, even if they weren’t the same people, he didn’t care. He couldn’t control that side of himself. All of this was beyond any craving he had ever felt. Ben wasn’t quite sure what he expected Aurelia to do, but he couldn’t stand to think that she would possibly reject him. Now that he thought about it, his reasons for showing up at her doorstep was actually rather selfish. This was about what he wanted. He hadn’t paused to think about what this was doing to Aurelia. Or well, he didn’t want to believe that she truly did want him dead. Ben didn’t stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, she was trying to kill him because she truly did hate him for what happened to their family. He just wanted Aurelia to fill that empty void the death of his family had left him with.
Why couldn’t they be happy again? That was what he wanted, but Ben knew it couldn’t happen again. Just thinking back on their human lives, their children would never be there again. But he had her, right? He loved his children dearly and he honored their memory, he just didn’t know if Aurelia could look at him without thinking that this was his fault. Ben had gone over it so many times, trying to figure out how he could have saved his family. Even if he could be with Aurelia, it wasn’t what he wanted. If he was going to be with her, he wanted their family, their humanity...to simply grow old together. A relationship with her now, would be them forever stuck in their youth. He wanted to convince himself that he loved her and he did. It was just, Ben didn’t know he could commit to her. The longer Aurelia stood there without answering him, the more Ben began doubting himself. To him, she was still the perfect woman that he had married. He was the problem. If he had been so in love with her, why did he allow himself to continue living for so long? She had revenge. He had nothing. Maybe he did deserve to die. After all those years of pretending he was fine.
The look in his eyes seemed almost hopefully at her stuttering. It would have been easier for Aurelia to hate him, but that single pause gave Ben the hope he didn’t deserve. The fact that she couldn’t kill him was just another sign for him to keep pushing, to try and find the woman he once knew. That brief moment of pause was quickly covered up by the sharp retort and Ben flinched, pulling back. He had seen her brief moment of weakness though, and he knew it wasn’t true. She really couldn’t kill him. Yet. Ben was ready to believe that she still could love him, but her words struck him hard. For her to even say that she didn’t love him was unimaginable. Ben wouldn’t be able to say it, no matter how angry he was with her. Right then, he should have left. If that was what Aurelia wanted, he should have. But Benjamin had always been so damn stubborn. He wasn’t ready to take that for an answer. He wouldn’t accept that he had spent weeks tracking her, just for her to tell him that she didn’t love him. Ben was almost...angry with her. His grey eyes met her, daring her to say those words again. He was so intent on hearing her next words, that he didn’t even notice the door handle snapping off.
When she spoke his name and reached her hand out, relief flooded through his body. She couldn’t say it. He was more than willing to take her hand, squeezing lightly. Now, Ben wasn’t exactly sure what he had been expecting her to do, but after his name had passed her lips with such soft inflection, he wasn’t prepared. As she shoved him, his back hit the door, slamming it close and his head thudded against the wood soon after. He couldn’t find the words to answer her question. It wouldn’t be right to tell her that, yes, Ben had thought of her. But how would that sound to her? He had meaningless sex just to be closer to her? That wouldn’t help the situation at all. Then, to admit he hadn’t thought of her, that the women had actually meant something to him would be a lie. Either way, it would not make him look any better. For once, Ben choose to do the smart thing and kept his mouth shut. He inhaled sharply when her lips met his neck. His eyes closed in a brief moment of ecstasy to feel her almost naked body against his. The feel of her fangs against his skin was thrilling and he even shifted to allow her better access, completely surrendering himself to her. His hand found her waist and he gripped softly, holding her against him.
As he hands found their way underneath his shirt, he raised his arms, helping her remove the article of clothing. A soft moan escaped his lips as he took in her scent, the feel of her skin against him. It had been so long since he’d felt this sense of longing. She knew every little thing that would make him sign and moan, beg for her. Her words had been completely drowned out and Ben could only focus on how just her simple touch could drive him so insane. The hand on her waist, gripped the robe tightly and Ben brought his other hand to the other side of her waist. And suddenly, the moment was over. His neck snapped sharply to the side as she used his hair to pull his head to an angle. He growled at the sudden pain, but more so as Aurelia pulled away from him. Ben pushed himself off the door, trying to follow her as she stepped back. “Aurel,” he managed in a voice barely above a whisper, hoarse from the pure want that drove his every thought. No, she was too close for him to let her go now. She couldn’t just leave him to drive away with his painfully tight jeans and the thought that he had been so close. He was too consumed in his lust to allow this to happen.
Again her words managed to strike his deepest emotions and Ben stood there, slack-jawed, trying to find the right words. “I...I....I love you. I can’t explain it and I can’t change it. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve tried forgetting you Aurelia, I’ve tried moving on. I may be living a lie, but this....this is real,” he sputtered, not even caring how ridiculous he sounded. He couldn’t explain the anger he felt at her words. It wasn’t even the teasing that had upset him, it was the way her words could get to him. He refused to walk out that door. If she still wanted to kill him, then Ben wasn’t about to run from her and start some twisted game of cat and mouse. “You can’t say it, can you? You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me.” Before he could think about it, he was following her up the stairs. Ben reached up to grab her hand, pulling her back. He took a step up and wrapped an arm around her waist. His hand moved to cup her cheek and for a moment, Ben just looked at her. “You’re right, you don’t owe me anything. I owe you everything though. Let me take away your pain, even if it is for a day.” It was a wild move, but it was worth a shot. Pushing her back against the banister, Ben pressed his lips to hers. Her body seemed to fit so well against his and Ben sighed softly at the contact of their skin. It was only a brief kiss and Ben pulled away to kiss along her jawline, nibbling softly on her earlobe. “I just want you one more time.”
tag: aurelia
word count: 1435
notes: UNF.
music: pins & needles - billy talent
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Post by AURELIA KANST on Mar 9, 2011 7:38:52 GMT -6
as long as i can touch your face, [/font] YOU KNOW I'LL NEVER LEAVE THIS PLACE.[/center] Above everything else, Aurelia had no idea why she had expected this to be an easy encounter. As soon as she heard Ben, smelt him, she should've just left the door alone. Gone back up to her room to waste her time with classical music and red wine. Instead, she had stupidly pulled the door open, and started this torturous bit. Ben was persistent, however. Even if she hadn't opened the door, a part of her doubted he'd take an untouched door as a proper answer. And the last thing she needed was him wandering around uninvited, snooping into things that his nose didn't belong in. Or even doing something drastic, like trying to break in. It was more than obvious with how easily he had been pushed around that he was more than just lusting right now, that there was something else underneath it. Love? Desire? Or maybe he just wanted her one more time to leave his mark on her- something she hadn't had in almost three hundred years. What kinds of levels would he go to in order to get what he wanted? The fact that she had absolutely no idea was a little bit terrifying, that he could do anything and she probably wouldn't be prepared for it. But he wouldn't do something he'd regret afterward, either. She knew that for certain.
I love you. Those three words stung, and the more she stood there, the more it hurt. It was like pressing a brand to her skin, hot and lit with heat, and trying to stand perfectly still to take the mark without messing up the image. She barely heard anything else he had to say as she remembered those three words slipping out when she had nearly killed him. What if he wasn't lying? Swallowing thickly to clear her dry throat, she tried to tune into his words, though she only caught 'this is real.' Narrowing her eyes, she shook it off, trying to tell herself that he was playing mind games with her. He was leading her on and she'd only get hurt in the end. Ben did, after all, have ever right to want her dead. He could've gotten smarter about lying over the years, and maybe she couldn't see through him anymore. He had changed so much, it wouldn't be surprising that he was leading her right into a trap. I love you. Those words rang once more in her mind, and she tried to force her mind to shut down. Aurel didn't want the memories of their love, of their happiness. She didn't want to remember the warmth of his body in the early morning, how he could act as a blanket all in himself most days. Or about the way he used to come home from work and instantly be right in with her and their children, making them smile and laugh, making her feel like the luckiest woman alive. He had been the perfect father, the perfect husband. Why did she have something so against him still being the same husband? Other than his womanizing, and his over intake on narcotics, he was still the man she had fallen in love with, wasn't he?
What happened next went too fast for Aurelia to really pick out details. She had expected him to leave, to respect her request and skip out. But he hadn't. Of course he hadn't... he was too stubborn to do exactly what he was told. After his accusation, one that was completely right, she heard his footsteps before she could react to them. The grip he had on her hand was enough to throw her off without him pulling her back down a step, turning her body mid-step to try and see what he was doing. She was, of course, on the defensive instantly. Aurel tried to pull her hand from his grasp, but his opposite was already wrapping around her waist, distracting her further and raising her alerts. It was hard to resist the feel of his palm against her cheek, and she almost pulled away completely, but something stopped her. Everything coming out of Ben's mouth, though may have sounded little, wasn't little at all. Her eyes widened, lips parting at the offer. 'Let me take away your pain...' Aurelia was lost in wonderment, her mind clouded with the idea of not feeling the constant gloom hang over her head like it usually did. "Could you... really do that?"
Her voice had been so low, she wasn't even sure Ben had heard the question. Not that it mattered. His hands pushed her and she wasn't sure what was happening until her back hit the banister. Normally, she would've thought he'd been trying to push her over it, but she could tell from the look on his face that it hadn't been a hostile shove. He was against her in seconds, lips pressed to her own, body creating the complication to tell where she ended and where he began. The kiss was shorter than she figured, but her lips hadn't moved from their position, more than likely making the kiss less than satisfying for him. Aurelia was still in shock, her emotions too jumbled to fully understand what she felt right then. The feel of his lips kissing along her jawline had her, however. Her eyelids slowly slid closed, and her jaw untensed under the pressure of his lips. His whisper brought a sigh out from no where, it sounding so loud in Aurel's ears she wasn't sure if it had echoed, or if it was just in her head. Her eyes whipped open, but she remained where she was, enjoying the warmth pulsing through the thin sheer of her robe, sinking into her own body. "Ben..." Without realizing, her arms slid up from their defensive position against the rail to around his neck, pulling him as tight to her as their bodies would allow. "Just... one more taste." With that, she leaned up into him, raising just a little on her feet to press her lips better to his own. At first it was slow, testing the waters, before she put full force into it. It turned rough, hungry, needful. He had left a fire between her thighs that hadn't been put out in over two hundred years. To say that she had a little pent up sexual desire for her husband was an understatement.
Eventually, just his lips wasn't enough. Aurel didn't think about her butler, Jarvis, or how he could possibly be overhearing everything that was happening on the stairs. She didn't care if he saw anything, either. All that mattered was the man standing in front of her, who was currently overly dressed for her current flash of arousal. Breaking the kiss, just barely able to contain herself, she gripped the front of his pants with her four fingers and pulled, leading him up the stairs rather demandingly. After they were both safely up the stairs, she skillfully popped the button on his pants with her thumb as she turned to face him again, taking several steps backwards. All the while, her eyes never left Benjamin's, almost like she could let him know just by the look in her eyes exactly how much she had been holding back the night she had been meant to slaughter him. The kiss from that night still lingered in her mind, even when she kissed him currently. "It's been too long." Almost expertly, she pulled herself against Ben's body again, throwing her arms around his neck and slipping her right hand into his locks of hair. Her lips pressed against his instantly, moving their bodies to start leading Ben through the doorway of her bedroom. Her attention was too distracted to properly lead him towards the king sized bed, so the wall beside her ceiling to floor window made a perfect surface to press him against instead. And, of course, Aurelia paid no attention the decor and paintings that had at first been in Ben's way, the pressure she had pressed him into the wall with knocking most of the knit-knacks off the wall.
Her hands moved down his bare chest, nails scraping as they drifted to his waist. She started to work his zipper down, still kissing him as intensely as their first kiss had been. Aurel felt like a teenager once more, the knots in her stomach and chest making it impossible not to lose herself and pretend things were normal. That she was kissing him against the wall like this while trying to take his pants off because they were still happily married and together. And she was going to let herself live in this delusion- for a day, at least.
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tag . benjamin
words . 1498
outfit . hurr
notes . lame post is lame. D: |
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BENJAMIN KANST
VALEN
COVEN LEADER
if you're looking for jesus, get on your knees
Posts: 23
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Post by BENJAMIN KANST on Apr 24, 2011 14:05:41 GMT -6
never understood how she could mean so little to so manyWHY DOES SHE MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME? He felt guilty. Not just guilty for leaving her, but guilty for doing what he was. Ben had no right to show up at her front door, much less touch her again. It wasn’t something he could help though. When it came to Aurelia, he rarely did have any logical thoughts. This was wrong, but he felt this intense burning desire for her that he couldn’t explain. For someone that had spent years trying to escape any desire for love, the feelings he felt for Aurelia seemed suddenly new and strange. Yet, he wanted to feel this again, with her. His memories of her had been nothing but good and he wasn’t ready to accept that she could have possibly changed. To him, she was still that same woman he’d married. There’d never been anything between them and now that there was, he wanted to apologize, make things better. It didn’t have to be about the sex. Just as long as she was around, he would be happy. This is what he had wanted all along right? All these years, he had just wanted Aurelia back. Sure, there had been replacements, but he’d never forgotten her...or that’s what he told himself. He couldn’t make up for not being there, but he sure as hell was going to try. There had to be some part of her that still loved him. It was the same part that kept her from killing him that first night. Ben was going to delude himself into believing that they could still be together and he didn’t even care.
“I can try,” he muttered as his lips brushed against hers. When she didn’t seem to protest, Ben started to get a little more bold with his actions. There had been no reaction to the kiss, but he figured that was better than being shoved away. His hand still cupped her cheek as he kissed along her jawline, taking in her familiar scent. His desire for her had taken over any thoughts and the sigh from her lips seemed to interrupt his motions. For a moment he pulled away just far enough to look her in the eyes. Slowly he rested his forehead against hers and smiled softly at the sound of his name. With a familiar ease, Ben relaxed into her, welcoming the comforting warmth that only her body had been able to provide. He barely had time to nod in agreement before Aurelia’s lips were pressed against his own. This time, however, Ben allowed her to take control of the kiss. There was no thought to how odd they must have seemed standing there on the stairs. His only thoughts were centered around Aurelia and the longing hunger to taste her again. It seemed to open a flood of memories as Ben slid his tongue against hers. This wasn’t something new. How many times had they found themselves in this exact position, craving each other? Yet, no matter how many times he found himself moaning her name, it always felt like something new.
As the kiss broke, Ben was too far gone in his own arousal to realize she had gripped the front of his pants. The sudden yank took him by surprise and he let out a small yelp as he tripped up the stairs in his hurry to follow her. It took him a moment to regain his balance, but he placed a hand on her hip to help guide him along. Once up the stairs and over his moment of slight embarrassment, Ben laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist. Not once had he broken the gaze he shared with Aurelia. There was an amused look in his eyes as he watched her. “Way too long,” he smiled once again before eagerly returning the kiss. As they moved towards the bedroom, he moved just far away enough from her body to slip a hand to the front of the robe. His hand slid across her stomach as he reached for the ribbon with his fingers. It took a moment for him to undo the sleek material and even less time for him to push it off her shoulders. He was only interrupted when their course to the bed seemed to take a slight detour. Ben hadn’t been expecting his back to meet the wall in such a sudden manner. His head followed soon after, hitting the wall with a dull thud. A soft groan escaped his lips. There had been the sound of glass shattering when he impacted the wall, but he felt no pain. Either he got lucky, or the pain just didn’t register. Whatever it was, Ben didn’t seem to care. The feel of her nails digging into his skin and slowly dragging down his chest managed to elicit a sharp gasp that soon faded into a moan.
“Aurelia,” he sighed softly, leaning his head back against the wall. He moved his hands to help her pull his pants off. Ben kicked his shoes off and manged to squirm out of his jeans, all without breaking the kiss. As he stepped out of his jeans, he flicked them off to the side and moved his hands to work on getting the robe off. There suddenly seemed like there was far too many clothes to his liking. When he managed to remove the robe, Ben let it fall in a heap on the floor. His dominance was suffering with Aurelia pinning him to the wall and in a brief show of power, he broke the kiss to lift Aurelia onto a nearby dresser. Using one arm, he shoved whatever on the dresser to one side, giving enough room for the both of them. In the same fluid motion, Ben pulled her back into a rough kiss as his hands found the bra. With a practiced ease, he unhooked the bra and tossed it off to the side. His hands skimmed over the newly uncovered skin, but faltered when he encountered the cold metal piercing through her nipple. Confused, he paused and tilted his head to glance down. “That’s...new,” he grinned as he tested the piercing with his fingers, tugging slightly on it. “I like it.” His hand moved to tangle in her hair as he tilted his head forward to flick his tongue across the piercing, taking it in his mouth.
tag: aurelia
word count: 1063
notes: OMGEE.
music: pins & needles - billy talent
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